Those who know me, know that I have been with R for almost 7 years and we've been engaged for 2 years. I am very blessed and thankful to have found such a wonderful partner, who is most importantly my best friend. I can honestly say that I knew we were pretty much perfect for each other after about 6 months of being together... Before that, I only had one other serious boyfriend. He was a douchebag...We won't get into that...But before that, I was always crushing. I'm a very social person, and because of that, I was always meeting new people and new guys, which meant I had a new crush just as often as I changed my clothes.
But what is it about the way that girls crush that it's so different from guys? I've come to the conclusion that the reason why this happens is because women over think everything. I have a friend (who will remain nameless) who is absolutely boy crazy. I love hearing her stories because I completely forgot what it's like to be a part of the awkward dating world, but also because I somewhat rememeber the excitement you feel when you meet someone and are totally vibing and digging each other. It always begins by putting yourself out there in the first place, which many people don' wait to do in fear of being rejected or unwanted. But fact of the matter is, to find what you're looking for, you gotta put yourself out there. I know people always say "I'm not looking for anyone", and I find that to be mostly bullshit...As humans, we all want to be loved and accepted and feel wanted in some way or form...I do think that we should be okay with ourselves and love ourselves before being in a committed relationship in order to make things work, but what's wrong with having some fun? Then comes meeting the person and hitting it off...You have lots of things in common, the guy is polite and opens the door for you, basically we are on our best behavior. Looking back, during the first couple of dates, you're almost getting a falsified version of who this person really is. We are blindsided by the positive aspects of a person, and we forget that dating is a game. The problem with this game-- especially in the begininng-- is that most women immediately get attached, and start thinking ahead. With men, it's not that complicated. This is the reason why in the beginning of new relationships, things work so well but further along the relationship, shit gets complicated. Just because you're hitting it off now, it may not necessarily mean that you will later on. Guys just see things for what they are, and they either like a girl or they don't. I've realized that over the years, even though they get just as caught up in the stupid games of dating.
Then comes the stupid "should I call him?" question. We've all been there...Girls don't want to look like they're "obsessed" with guys, but we obsess about the phone call..."Why didn't he calling? Does he not like me? Did he meet someone else? What is he doing?". Girls, if a guy really digs you, he's going to call you before you even have a chance to think about this one too hard. Btu also remember that if he doesn't call you right away, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you...He may be hanging out with his family, buddies, at the gym, getting a haircut, or just doing absolutely nothing. However, guys, don't wait 4 days to call a girl you really dig her. If you like her, just call her and get it over with. I know first hand just how batshit crazy girls can get when they don't hear from a guy. They over analyze everything, think about all the what ifs and then eventually they give in and call/text the guy, usually asking if they did something wrong. Most of the time, dude's just at the office shaking his head and suddenly he really gets annoyed. But as much as I can see the guy's point of view, a lot of times guys make us act like this. We really don't wanna play games, we just want to know if you like us and what you wanna do about it. We get bad reps, but if a guy is chasing a girl, it's considered romantic. If a girl does it, it's considered stalking.
Part of the reason why R and I have made it this far is because we've never played games and we've always been open and honest about our feelings. I remember after our first date, we talked on the phone as soon as we got home. It was refreshing to see that we didn't have to play by anyone's rules. When we started dating, I d0n't think either one of us thought "wow ok this is it". We just went with our feelings and here we are today. I didn't know much about love and relationships when we first got together, and I definitely don't have a lot of experience. But I do know that men and women think completely different, and to make things work sometimes you just have to put yourself in their shoes.
The most important thing about crushes and dating is to have fun with it. Don't take yourself too seriously, and enjoy it. If you're not, then it's time to let it go...When you find the real thing, you won't have to play games because you'll know instantly.
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