Crushes and relationships...how do we get there?

Those who know me, know that I have been with R for almost 7 years and we've been engaged for 2 years. I am very blessed and thankful to have found such a wonderful partner, who is most importantly my best friend. I can honestly say that I knew we were pretty much perfect for each other after about 6 months of being together... Before that, I only had one other serious boyfriend. He was a douchebag...We won't get into that...But before that, I was always crushing. I'm a very social person, and because of that, I was always meeting new people and new guys, which meant I had a new crush just as often as I changed my clothes.

But what is it about the way that girls crush that it's so different from guys? I've come to the conclusion that the reason why this happens is because women over think everything. I have a friend (who will remain nameless) who is absolutely boy crazy. I love hearing her stories because I completely forgot what it's like to be a part of the awkward dating world, but also because I somewhat rememeber the excitement you feel when you meet someone and are totally vibing and digging each other. It always begins by putting yourself out there in the first place, which many people don' wait to do in fear of being rejected or unwanted. But fact of the matter is, to find what you're looking for, you gotta put yourself out there. I know people always say "I'm not looking for anyone", and I find that to be mostly bullshit...As humans, we all want to be loved and accepted and feel wanted in some way or form...I do think that we should be okay with ourselves and love ourselves before being in a committed relationship in order to make things work, but what's wrong with having some fun? Then comes meeting the person and hitting it off...You have lots of things in common, the guy is polite and opens the door for you, basically we are on our best behavior. Looking back, during the first couple of dates, you're almost getting a falsified version of who this person really is. We are blindsided by the positive aspects of a person, and we forget that dating is a game. The problem with this game-- especially in the begininng-- is that most women immediately get attached, and start thinking ahead. With men, it's not that complicated. This is the reason why in the beginning of new relationships, things work so well but further along the relationship, shit gets complicated. Just because you're hitting it off now, it may not necessarily mean that you will later on. Guys just see things for what they are, and they either like a girl or they don't. I've realized that over the years, even though they get just as caught up in the stupid games of dating.

Then comes the stupid "should I call him?" question. We've all been there...Girls don't want to look like they're "obsessed" with guys, but we obsess about the phone call..."Why didn't he calling? Does he not like me? Did he meet someone else? What is he doing?". Girls, if a guy really digs you, he's going to call you before you even have a chance to think about this one too hard. Btu also remember that if he doesn't call you right away, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you...He may be hanging out with his family, buddies, at the gym, getting a haircut, or just doing absolutely nothing. However, guys, don't wait 4 days to call a girl you really dig her. If you like her, just call her and get it over with. I know first hand just how batshit crazy girls can get when they don't hear from a guy. They over analyze everything, think about all the what ifs and then eventually they give in and call/text the guy, usually asking if they did something wrong. Most of the time, dude's just at the office shaking his head and suddenly he really gets annoyed. But as much as I can see the guy's point of view, a lot of times guys make us act like this. We really don't wanna play games, we just want to know if you like us and what you wanna do about it. We get bad reps, but if a guy is chasing a girl, it's considered romantic. If a girl does it, it's considered stalking.

Part of the reason why R and I have made it this far is because we've never played games and we've always been open and honest about our feelings. I remember after our first date, we talked on the phone as soon as we got home. It was refreshing to see that we didn't have to play by anyone's rules. When we started dating, I d0n't think either one of us thought "wow ok this is it". We just went with our feelings and here we are today. I didn't know much about love and relationships when we first got together, and I definitely don't have a lot of experience. But I do know that men and women think completely different, and to make things work sometimes you just have to put yourself in their shoes.

The most important thing about crushes and dating is to have fun with it. Don't take yourself too seriously, and enjoy it. If you're not, then it's time to let it go...When you find the real thing, you won't have to play games because you'll know instantly.

Madonna Appreciation!!!

Thanks to Tuesday's episode of Glee, I have been listening to old Madonna songs and watching her old videos on You Tube back to back. For those of you who don't watch Glee, Tuesday's episode was an homage to Madonna, her girl power and her amazing career...I not only admire her for what she's accomplished, but because she's never apologized for her attitude and for who she is! She never makes excuses for herself, goes after what she wants and always succeeds...If you look at other artists that have had a similar am mount of success, such as Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, etc...they've always somehow managed to succumb to the downfall of fame. However, Madonna has always managed to keep control of her life. I admire her for that. I remember her saying : "I'm tough, ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, then OK"....Couldn't have said it better!
Looking back at her videos and listening to her old music, I not only see myself dancing and singing like her, but I remember just how happy her music made me. Thankfully, it still does the same thing. I remember getting Madonna tapes (this was in the 80s, so CDs were just starting to be used) and playing them over, and over, and over... She was a huge part of my childhood, and seeing her in concert was almost surreal for me! I fucking love Madonna!! Here are some pictures in case you want to reminisce as well....Happy Friday!

Silversun Pickups Tour!!!

After catching them at All Points West last August, I've become a huge fan of this band...For those of you who haven't checked them out yet (where have you been!!! get on that shit!!!) please do so ASAP...They toured with Muse as their opening act and I heard from many people they were better than Muse...Anyways, they just announced their own summer tour, and lucky for me are playing two shows in the NYC Tri-State area...Thursday June 24th @ The Wellmont Theatre in Montclair, NJ (dope little town in North Jersey with lots of culture!!) and Friday June 25th at the Willamsburg Waterfront in Brooklyn...Def gonna try to make it out to both shows...Tickets on sale tomorrow Friday 4/24 and Saturday 4/24.....For my South Florida amigos, they're playing Boca June 16th...here is the link to the tour site http://www.silversunpickups.com/tour/

toodles~ Jo

Juan Francisco Casas

I know this doesn't really have to do with fashion, but without the body we would not be able to have fashion. I am a big fan of photography and portraits- especially portraits. It's amazing to me that with just a pencil or a pen, someone can create the most life-like images. Portraits have always fascinated me the most out of any type of drawings, because it really illustrates that what we see is powerful and it captures a moment in a person's life. The ability to put that perception through a pencil on paper is really intriguing and admirable...Having said that, I recently came across the work of an artist based out of Madrid, Spain who draws these magnificent images with blue ballpoint pens. He reproduces them from photographs he takes himself. I know how difficult, time consuming and detailed any portrait can be, but the fact that he does them with these pens is truly unbelievable. We all know how ballpoint pens smudge easily. Check out the pictures below and check out his website

http://www.juanfranciscocasas.com

toodles...

Jo

NY Mag's Top Trends for Spring/Summer

What will we be wearing this season? NY Magazine piled up some of the top trends this season, and I've got to say I agree with most of their picks.

----The Little White Dress aka LWD

Chic, classic AND classy. Spring and summer's version of the LBD. I love this look, because it's easy to go from day to night and it screams "Spring is here!". You can accessorize with all kinds of colors, especially turquoise which will be HUGE this season.


---- Safari/Military Inspiration

The safari look is powerful, tough, and very structured. However, I love how Balmain and Marc Jacobs always manage to add femeninity in there...Not to mention Ralph Lauren PERFECTED safari chic. A simple military shirt dress is a simple way to add it to your wardrobe, or a little military jacket goes great over a dress and paired up with your favorite jeans.




---- Corsets/Intimate as Outerwear

I am not and have never been a big fan of this look. I think underwear is meant to be worn UNDER clothing, not as clothing. Whatever happened to leaving somethings up to the imagination? I know this is a huge look and was Jean Paul Gaultier revolutionized this look in the 90s, but I'd like to see this look banned forever. I def won't be wearing any of this.




---- Bright Colors/Bright colored suits

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love wearing bright colors year round. I love hot pink, yellow, orange and turquoise. Being in New York, I don't get to wear it as often as I would like to. If I could wear these tones year round, believe me I would. I love a black suit and even a white or cream suit for the summer, but the idea of a coral suit or blue suit is simply beautiful. Throw in some gold accesories, a lose ponytail for those hot summer days, and voila! Gotta love that updated tailored look! Plus having a suit in your wardrobe is something you should always have, you never know when you will need it.






---- Slits/Cutouts

A slit or a cutout can add an extra element to a simple dress, as long as it's done demurely. Michael Kors manages to made a simple LBD sexy but not too revealing. Gucci made a little white dress a little Avante Garde by adding some slits. With this look, keep accesories to a minimum. Otherwise, you'll end up looking like Madonna came across Edward Scissorhands in the 80s...




---- Trench Revisited

A good trench coat is a staple for the transition from Winter to Spring, and even useful in the Fall. I prefer a short coat rather than a long one, simply because it makes the torso look longer, and therefore making you look thinner. I love the updated looks on the trench this season, especially the trench sleeveless dress by Celine, and the belted coat by Burberry Prorsum. For me, you can throw in a belt to any outfit and pull it all together. That is by far my favorite.







I am so excited that Spring is here and Summer is right around the corner. I'm going back to Miami tomorrow, so I plan on taking lots of pictures of beautiful people and what they're wearing at the moment...It will be fun comparing and contrasting to the style of NYC...

Toodles!!


- Jo

Solar Powered Clothing: Sustainable Fashion?

Abbey Liebman, a senior from Cornell University came up with a solar powered dress. The dress has flexible, tiny solar panel cells to generate power for small electronic devices, such as iPods, BlackBerrys, and other cell phones. The USB charger is located on the waist of the dress, making it easy and accesible to charge the devices. From what I've read online, it seems like the technology has been in the works for a while, which doesn't surprise me since we rely on our gadgets more and more everyday. It's also a great idea since many of us are always on the go, and maybe out of our apartments or offices for hours at a time. So how does it actually work? In simple terms, the fabric's fibers (cotton) are coated with solar-absorbing nanoparticles that are less than 100 nanometers thin (small small small!!!!!) Because of this, the cottom remains flexible, allowing the dress to drape and fall naturally. Cornell University has filed to patent this technology.

I love the idea of using solar power for anything. I'm a big supporter of the green movement, and believe we must make small changed to make a difference. I really think Abbey's idea is quite a breakthrough, and although it sounds silly to a lot of people, I think it could go on to become a big hit. Many of us forget to charge our phones, or ipods, and many times we get stuck with a cell phone that has no battery. I know I'm guilty of it...My boyfriend consistently nags me about charging my cell phone, yet I refuse to do it regularly. It's simply ridiculous. The idea of being able to simply plug in my phone to my tshirt, jacket, or pants makes me happy. I would totally wear a solar powered outfit, as long as I didn't look like I came out of an episode of "The Jetsons". (No offense to you "Jetsons" fans!)

Abbey’s professors from Cornell invented the technology, and Abbey innovated the design. The actual design of the dress is very fashion forward, and probably too fashion forward for the everyday woman. I think if she makes her designs more simple and easier to wear, it can work for everyday wear. She is supposed to expand her line and add other types of garments. I'm really excited to see what they will look like and if people will be open to wearing them.

Would you wear solar powered clothing? Why or why not?

What's on your playlist?

Totally been obsessing over this album for the last couple of weeks. I loved their first album "Vampire Weekend", and I was worried that this album, "Contra" would disappoint me. Caught them on Saturday Night Live last week and they were amazing live! They performed "Cousins" and "Giving Up The Gun". I can't wait to see them live @ Radio City Music Hall in September. I love their unique sound, Ezra Koenig's voice, and the fact that they are extremely talented musicians. Even better, they're from the Garden State!
What has been on your repeat list lately?

Does Shopping Make You Feel Better?

Ever find yourself shopping when you feel down? You've had a terrible day at work, or maybe you got in a fight with your significant other. Whatever the situation, it seems like many of us like to drown our sorrows in some retail therapy. I know I do. Whenever I am down, frustrated, or irritated, I like to go out and buy something new. Accessories and makeup usually make me feel a whole lot better about myself. But why does this happen? Do you ever get buyer's guilt? This also happens to me frequently. I'll go out on a splurge, and next thing I know, I have a million things I don't need or many times, things I already have.
Buying new things gives me a rush I can't explain. Why? We are surrounded by advertisements that can make us think shopping will make us happy or complete. Even our government encourages us to spend money to get our country out of this economic slump. Casual shopping or splurging can easily turn into a downward spiral.
Like any addiction, this shopping therapy becomes a person's way of dealing with issues, or ignoring their problems. This can turn dangerous if the excessive shopping starts to impact other areas of their lives negatively, like relationships and friendships. Many times, the addict does not know how to stop or how they got there in the first place. Finances and relationships are damaged, yet the shopping addict feels unable to stop or even control their spending.
I can definitely say that although I am not a shoppaholic, a shopping trip brings my mood up. Does shopping make you feel better? Why or why not? Do you think you could be a shoppaholic?

How To Really Make It In America

HBO can now add its new series, “How To Make It In America” to the endless list of shows attempting to show life in New York City as an over-the-top dream. In the last 10-15 years, life in New York City and the fashion industry have been the center for many television shows, movies and reality shows. These shows and movies glamorize New York City and what life is like here. Think Carrie Bradshaw and her many pairs of Manolo Blahnik shoes, Andrea’s fabulous new wardrobe in “The Devil Wears Prada”, or even Whitney Port’s transplanted career from LA to NYC. Sure, there are more than a handful of people in New York City who live the life of glamour and glitz. After all, we do live in one of the wealthiest and most culturally diverse cities in the world, but are these shows really captivating the real essence of New York City , and what it’s like to live here for most of us? What is tru I say not.

“How To Make It In America” is the story of Ben Epstein, a mid-twenties dropout fashion student from FIT, and his best friend, Lower East Sider Cam whose main goal is to get rich quick. Ben spends his days working at Barney’s denim department, while Cam takes odd jobs to make ends meet, including selling knock-off goods in the streets or selling skateboards to young kids in the Upper East Side. Their dream is to start their own premium denim line in a slumping economy. Sounds pretty normal, right? The basis for the show is something many people can relate to, especially us as students at LIM. Most of us have worked a retail job, while trying to balance school and our personal lives. However, Ben and Cam seem to spend their leisure time attending glamorous art gallery openings, loft parties with celebrities and models, and even dinner parties with John Varvatos. It all seems just so easy and accessible, but the truth is that life here is not what it’s made out to be. It isn’t all candy and shopping, runways and photo shoots.

I understand that the show needs to sell an over-the-top image to captivate an audience and keep them watching the show. However, the situations in this show and others using New York City as a backdrop, paint a false picture of what starting a career or a business can be like in New York. I can see it now, a flock of guys in their mid 20’s will be moving here to start their own denim line, sneaker line, or open a boutique. I can be critical- I moved here from Miami with dreams of my own, and have experienced the complete opposite of what I thought it would be like. When following your dreams, sometimes you don’t think things through and don’t have a plan. You just want to follow them and get there fast. We live in a country where we want instant gratification, we all want to live a glitzy life without having to work for it. Most of the college graduates I know that moved to New York City are not only unemployed, but did not work in their fields of choice. They all saw themselves sipping Martinis while giggling with their friends over a $80 steak, and living in oversized lofts in Chelsea. Instead, they’re sipping on wine, over Chinese take-out, while sitting in their small apartments that they share with two or three other girls.

Is it possible that they were inspired by the media’s image of New York? The truth is as amazing as this city is, it is not a paradise and it sure isn’t easy to make it to the top. I am here for a reason, and that reason is to be successful and have a successful and meaningful career in the fashion industry. I am not attempting to put down dreams or aspirations for anyone , I’m just trying to open up people’s eyes and show that life here isn’t always what it’s made out to be. It takes a lot of work, dedication, sweats and tears to make it in America.

First Blog!

Hey everyone! Thanks for taking the time out to read my new blog...Well my first blog.

I have always enjoyed writing, but have not been motivated to write in a really long time...That is until Professor Cockle read one of my papers and suggested I do it again.

I will be writing about things that interest me and that impact me. It can be fashion, music, films, comedy, New York, Miami or our oh-so-lovely economy...

Please leave your comments and let me know what you think...this will be a learning experience for me